Woman Is Furious Her Partner Doesn’t Want to Buy a Bigger House – ryan
- A woman wrote on the U.K. forum Mumsnet that her partner of three years and his son moved into the small home she shares with her two kids 18 months ago
- Now that five people are living in the home, she feels things have gotten crowded and wants to buy a bigger house with her partner — but he’s not onboard with the idea
- The woman even wonders if his reluctance means “he just doesn’t see a future with me”
A woman’s domestic bliss has hit a snag after she learned that her partner has a very different vision for their living arrangements.
She detailed her dilemma in a post on the U.K.-based community forum Mumsnetbeginning by providing some context about her personal situation. She said that following her divorce four years ago, she sold her large, five-bedroom family home and downsized by purchasing a small new build for herself and two children.
“It’s lovely, just on the small side,” the woman noted, before sharing how her financial circumstances have changed since her divorce.
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“I have climbed the career ladder and I now earn very, very well. I can afford the mortgage easily now and things are comfortable,” she wrote.
Her current partner, whom she has been dating for three years, sold his own house and moved in with her — along with his son — 18 months ago. The woman noted that he “makes a good contribution towards bills” and other expenses.
Although they are “all blissfully living happily together,” she feels that the house has become too crowded with five people. “I do feel a bit squashed in here,” she admitted. “It’s a nice house, but it feels very busy and gets messy quickly with 3 children.”
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Considering this, the woman thinks a larger house is in order. “I have the desire to move in 2-3 years, pool our finances and buy something together,” she wrote.
The only problem? Her partner is not onboard with the plan. “Partner has no desire to move house. But I feel disappointed that 5 years ago I was living in a very comfortable 5 bedroom with lots of space and garden and now I feel so squashed into a 3 bed new build,” she explained.
“We could get a joined mortgage and easily afford something bigger,” she continued. “But he says he doesn’t want to move again and it’s comfortable here.” While the woman admitted that she is “being a bit of a princess,” she insisted that the house “feels claustrophobic” now that five people are living in it.
Now, she’s wondering if she is being unreasonable to push her partner to agree to buying a bigger house. “Am I being a stroppy princess? she asked, adding, ” Perhaps he just doesn’t see a future with me so doesn’t want to tie himself in?”
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In the comments, many people pointed out that her partner has no incentive to move. “What’s the incentive for him to change? He’s living in a nice home with space for his child with probably less costs than if he rented somewhere and no long-term commitment with presumably money in the bank,” one person wrote.
Another chimed in, “Your partner has got himself a fantastic deal, hasn’t he? Released a load of cash from his home, and now just has to pay food and bills but no mortgage or rent, so is saving loads of money too. No wonder he wants things to stay the same.”
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Others wondered if the woman’s desire for a bigger house is less about the tight quarters and more about regaining her former lifestyle. “It partly sounds like you might want to be buying a bigger house to get back the lifestyle you had with your ex. Especially now you’ve had career progression and maybe it should match,” one commenter wrote. “Wanting to move is fine, but make sure you’re doing it because of more space, rather than lifestyle aspirations.”
Several readers cautioned the woman that her and her partner’s priorities appear to be unaligned and advised her “to get independent legal advice before buying with him to protect your assets — and to potentially prevent your children having to move again if the relationship breaks down.”
“They’d almost certainly rather be in a smaller home than have that disruption,” the same person added.