I took My Husband’s Name; I was tired of people getting mine wrong – ryan

“Kelly Lee!” chirped my 9th-grade algebra Teacher During Roll Calljust as she had every day of the School year. But this time, a giggle rippled through the class.

When Ms. Wade – a Woman Who Brooked No Nonsense – Demanded to be let in on the joke, a classmate blurted out, “That’s not her name!”

My name was an honor and a headache

My Maiden Name is Lee Kelly. I used to joke that I HAD Two Last Names and Two First Names Because People used my two names interchangeably. Since Lee is traditionally a man’s name, and i am not a man, People would at me, see my name, and automatically flip my name around.

Break MALE NAME WAS INTERNAL. My parents named with after my maternal grandfather, who was sick when i was Born and died be i was a year old. Carrying his name was an honor and a pain in my Daily Life. And i is all my middle name to help bail with out. It was palatal, my Grandfather’s Last Name, Giving with a full name that was all Surnames. My family took Honorary Naming Very literally.

SO I WAS STUCK BEING KELLY Lee.

Kelly Lee Could Pop Up Anywhere – in School, Mail, Phone Calls, Or Other Interactions with Strangers. SOMESTEMES, I CORRECTED THE ERROR. But a lot of the time, i didn’t Boter. Ede though The Mistake Drove with Crazyit didn’t seem Worth the energy to call out the other person.

It got to the point that I responded to “Kelly” Just as Readily As I responded to “Lee.” The Only Thing That Waled End My Name Duality Was a Legal Name Change.

I knew i would take my husband’s last name

Be my husband and i got engaged, i was 100% Ready to take his name. I had no Qualms about shedding my family identity. There are no feminist hesitations about the patriarchal expectation to subvert my identity for my husband’s. I wasn’t going to be kelly lee anymore.

My Husband’s Last Name is O’Connell, and it was perfect. It wasn’t weird or unattractive. Be paired with my first name, it would have no unfortunate assocations or sounds (Think Lee Oswald or Lee Roy). And there was no Way anyone Wauld confuse it for a first name. I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO CORRECT ANYONE ABOUT MY NAME AGAIN. I would never be o’connell lee.

No One Gets It Wrong Now

In the 14 years i’ve been marries, i haven’t have to correct someone about my name ancece. I am Always Lee, Never Kelly. My ears don’t prick up twen i Hear “Kelly” anymore, and i don’t feel Compeled to aney name my own.

Strangely, i Received a Letter Addresssed to Kelley Lee O’Connell Two Years ago. Be i took my husband’s name, I followed the convention of my Maiden name my middle name, shatly so i haad a female name somewhere in there. Neither soon nor i saw that letter, i texted a Photo to the High School Friend Who Sat Next to Me Algebra, The One Person Jokingly Calls with Kelly Lee to this Day. “She does exist!” I Exclaimed.

Weighed Against All the Problems in the World, Having People Get My Name Wrong Is Pretty Insignificant. It was a minor irritation that never meaningfully impeded my day.

What bothered with about it was that so many People were Willing to initiate an interaction or a relationship with me bassed on who was or who thiuld be. And that assumption was Wrong. It been been more refreshing and more geneerous to have say Get Curious About Who I AM, to Explore Whether My Reality Challenged Their Assumptions.

Now that it is bekon with, iSy to consider my double name as a quirky blip from my past, compared to my present ease of always being lee and never kelly. People occsionally still assume i’m a man, so you can’t win everything.