5 Disastrous Assumptions Parents Make – ryan

I was talking to a friend recently about all the dangers our kids can run into online. When I mentioned the threat of porn, she said something that set my alarm bells off: “Oh, my child would never watch porn.” She might be right, but the statistics aren’t on her side, and the assumption she made will cause her to put her guard down. That’s what happens to all parents who make lots of bad assumptions.

Parents should never make assumptions about their kids. When we do, we miss entering into important conversations and doing the training our kids desperately need. However, the consequences of some of our assumptions as parents can be more destructive, even disastrous. We need to avoid these at all costs. Here are 5 disastrous assumptions parents make.

1. “My child is more mature than most kids.”

Kids will often appear more mature than they actually are. They parrot things they’ve heard from adults. They know what they’re repeating fits for the situation, but they don’t understand why. Kids will also often put on masks to meet the approval and expectations of adults. These masks make them look mature, but the heart remains undeveloped.

2. “My child always…”

Parents who make lots of bad assumptions might not notice if their kids change. Kids might “always” have done something in the past, but that doesn’t give any guarantees for the future. Kids are unpredictable. They go through phases and changes; their relationships with their friends and family look different over time. They face different pressures and circumstances. What they would do two years ago no longer applies. Be ready for the changes, and never stop learning who your child is.

3. “My child would never…”

Kids are impulsiveand the part of their brains that measures cause and effect doesn’t finish developing until their mid-twenties. They are also starved for attention. So they are likely to do something unwise, get swayed by the crowd, do something unexpected, and behave in ways that will get them noticed, even if the behavior is bad. Believing the best of your child is understandable, but talk to your kids about these temptations with the assumption that they are capable of anything.

4. “My child is exactly like me.”

There may be similarities, but at the end of the day your kid is his or her own person. A huge part of our formation comes from the experiences we have, and theirs are different from yours. They are growing up in a different world. The DNA you passed on is just one part of the equation.

5. “We don’t need to talk about it.”

As I said in point three, you have to be prepared and talk to your kids about the temptations out there that can seriously hurt them. Never assume your child will avoid the bad things no matter how good their behavior has been. The Apostle Paul even said in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” If he struggled with his decisions, certainly our kids will, too, and they need our guidance. But, in all honesty, we struggle here too.

Thankfully, God is ready to guide us as Proverbs 3:5–6 tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Living this out will not only help your decisions, but it will help your kids.

Sound off: What are some other disastrous assumptions parents make?