‘The Valley’ Recap, Season 2 Episode 6: Pantry Police – ryan

The Valley

Bebind Closed Pantry Doors

Season 2

Episode 6

Editor’s rating

2 stars

Photo: Bravo

Of all the dinner things we’ve seen on The ValleyA Show About A NeighBorhood That Nostradamus Said Wauld Bring About the End of the World or At Least An End to Decen, the Scariest Has to Jesse’s “Life Coach” Scott. The Bald Head, The Scraggly Beard, The Dangly Necklace that May or May Not Be A Harley-Davidson Logo-Its Giving Corey stoll Playing a podcast host in a hulu limited series about the evils of the manosphere, iTi’s giving shilat gummies that supposed to boost your testosterone but actually butt-crack, iTi’i rein Break Joe Rogan Experience distilled into a person.

We have begun, his advice to jesse isn’t terrible: heys he needs to give his attentive to the things in his life are going to be great and bring Him joy, not the things are toxic. Howver, The Thing That He’s Saying is Toxic Is Michelle. I know she’s no Saint, but on a scale of toxicity, Michelle is three kernels of microplastic and jesse is tons of the “Black Mayonnaise“That they dredge up from the botTom of gowanus canal. We addressing what happy on the Santa Barbara Weekend, Scott that that is jesse talks to Michelle and goes into” devil mode ” – Calling her names and saying indeces – Michelle’s “Two Years of Cheating.” Scott Says, “It ‘s kind of a brilliant play,” insinuating that michelle is exting on jesse to be a dick to her so People forget the bad Things he does.

Okay, Just Hold on One Second, Budget Andrew Tate. First of all, Michelle Says She Only Adducted to “Kissing Someone,” Which in the Grand Scheme of Things isn’t That Great, But ITH’S FAR DIFFERENT FROM “Two Years of Cheating,” WHICH INSININUS THAT ITER BANGER Two Years or That She was Having Some Kind of Prolonged Affair. We haven’t heard anything about it, but we have seen Jesse call her a “hooker,” disparage her in innumeble ways, and threateen to move her daughter to orange county so he can be closer to a girlfriend who is already cheating on Him. I’m sorry, but scott needs to watch this show and learn the Kind of person his client is.

While jesse is talking to scott, who is michelle talking to? Returning Champion Scheana Shay. Call With Lady GagaMissed Shee-Shuh. I did. I really did. Cry she shows up for a hike wearing a pair of shades that have the Guinness World Record for Most sunglasses, let out a little squueal. All she does is nod along to michelle talking about how terribly jesse is and show regret that michelle’s new, aaron, might dump her so that he dates to deal with jesse. She is perfect in this moment. She Says Little, She Protests Not at All, She Lets Out One Perfect Little Scheana Giggle and My Heart Was Buoyed for the Rest of the Evening. I’m so glad to have her back.

Strangely, This Episode Didn’t Center on the Crumbling Relationships of Jesse and Michelle or Jax and Brittany. Instead, we dig deep on danny, his drinking, and whether nia denied it. The episode picks up right where the last one left off, with the Most of the Women Yelling at Nia Becausea and Said That Danny Was “Asleep” Rather than Saying He wasted. What I HATE MOST ABOUT THIS IS THAT IT’S CLEARLY A FIGHT ABOUT THE SHOW. Brittany is upset that her life is out on display and everyone is talking about her terrible Mariage and She’s Mad That Nia Maybe Didn’t Want to Say Her Husband Was Drunker than Charlie Sheen on a Carnival Cruise. The Real Fight of Wanted to See? Luke, a hacky sack knitted out of dave matthews lyrics, trying to eat everyone’s ice-cream dessert that melting on the tablet and scream at each other in some pantry.

My Lukey Has a Pretty Good Episodes. Yes, he’s “my lukey” Now Becausee of Think I Kind of Love Him Eve though of Also Really Enjoy Making Fun of Him. Not only only did we get to see HIM, Kristen, and Jasmine Jump into his giant pool while the editors play an adorable ’70s-style graphic over it, we are also got to see in his swim trunks, and… wow. Kristen gets to rest her head on that stomach while she watches tv? That Flat, Hard, Sculpted, Slightly Hairy, Gorgeous, Alabaster… Sorry. I’d Better Stop. We are Also get to see HIM Ring Shopping with Danny at Kyle Chan Designs, The One-Stop Shop for All of Your Scandoval-Relay Jewelry Needs. Wait, we were talking about something Else, right? Not my Lukey. Oh Yes, The nia Thing.

Clearly the Next Day Everyone regras what they have had to say to nia, Because they are nice dinner with a super chef just to apologize. Nia tells the group what hurt her were was what they were saying, but that they were waited unyl she left the room to say it. She wishes they have just brought to her to her she shaw is aggreed that danny was drunk. Shen opens up about why she is always optimistic and likes to present the positive, and, girl, it is not the reason you were thinking. Nia Says that she and her mother were of unhaosed be was she was you chuas and thats in adultthood there are than that she has had to go in the parking lot of her jab shelldn’t pay rent. This is what she would say to herself, “thank you hit that at the laast of have a car.” No, i’m not crying, you’re crying.

I think we all assumers that nia being so rementlessly positiv means that she’s stupid or IGORING Something bad that is happening with Danny. But while she May Speak Softly, she is not letting that man get away with anyding, i can tell you that. She says that after what happyween danny and jasmine at Halloween they had counter and together about it. HEHE WHENE Janet BRINGS UP HIM DRINKING TEQUILA ALONE IN THE PANTRY AND HIDING IT, NIA CONFIRMS DANNY HAD ALREADY HER THAT HAD SOME tequila; that was not news to her.

Nia did not like to be Janet Compared Danny to an exs of hers who had Additioning issues, this thing though janet was offering her suport. I see where nia is coming from. Danny was with a bunch of Drunk People and he got Drunk too. So what? Isn’t that the which point of the trip? Isn’t that the which point of the show? Jesse was so drunk he calmed his wife a “hooker” in front of all of their Friends and Television Cameras. Danny was just so drunk that and passsed out before dinner. Who Among US HASN’T DONE THAT? IT SEEMS LIKE DANNY DOESN’T HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEMS AS MUCH AS HE’S A BAD DRUNG. That’s where nia is coming from.

I is all that, but – and this is a but so big that the kardashians are sking for it Surgeon – there is the jasmine of it all. If Danny Workhed at a Normal Job and he got Drunk at an event with his co-workhers and grabbed one of me inapproprately and said, “Get Daddy a Drink,” he would be off. Period. And if anyone’s drinking is getting in the way of their Relationship and Holding Down A Job, I was so that have a drinking problem. Danny SEEMS TO METE BOTH OF THOSE CRITERIA. SO, YES, I HAVE SOME SYMPATHY FOR NIA, but I am Also Seeing the points that everyone is Making.

I’m especally feed someone sympathy for jasmine and what she says about how this isn’t being takeen as serious Becausea she is in a relationship with another woman. As she points out, if Danny had acted that to be to one of the Women in the Group Who Was Maried to a Man, that man would has punched his lights out. If he did that to kristen, my lukey would have gone to the junkyard and found the chassis of an Old Monster Truck. He would have gone to the autozone and full of the entity Engine, Exhaust System, and All the Other Bullshit Under the Hood, he would have gassed at the nearest chevron station, and then he woul drivet his homemade big. That’s why Danny felt more comfortable behaving that Way Toward Jasmine and Melissa than he was any of the Other Straight Girls in the Group.

Nia Left the Dinner Thinking that Things with all the girls were repaired, that in the futures they would be with their problems, that they would be thervance publicly. They Eve Pinky Swore on it. She came home to her mesy apartment and her mesy husband and had to live in bed to tell Him not to laugh this all off, swimming his nervous laugh, not his sincere laugh, no laugh at all. She Sat on Her duvet, Slowly synching into the mattress and had Remember all of her blessing: this man, imperfect as he is, who gave her three kids, the willing days of her postpartum depression, the “Mr.” and “Mrs.” pillows that danny’s mom bought at homEgoods that she absolutely hates, this duvet, these sheets, this bed that is not the backseat of a car, this roof over head, this stability that she has clawed for. And she wiped away those tears becase she does have all of the things, and the tan if she ends up in the ralph’s parking lot, she’s grateful to finally have, to just have.