Could love be a rational decision, not an upset attraction? – ryan

For many years, love was seen as a pure emotional state, raiding a person as dreams raided him. A feeling that chooses us without asking for permission, and leads us without leaving us an opportunity to think.

Poems and movies and books that transformed love into a mystery outside the will, as if the heart is an independent being who is not careful with reason, and is not subject to accountability.

But this perception began to change, not because love lost its magic, but rather because we changed. We know more about ourselves, about our emotional needs, about the limits that we protect our psychological peace. With this maturity, it became necessary to ask:

Is love a decision that we can choose consciously, or is it still a feeling that imposes itself?

Love .. decision or a sudden occurrence?

The fantasy is a moment that we do not have. Something attracts us without introductions. It may be a look, overwhelming presence, a transparent spirit that resembles or complements us. Nobody denies the magic of that first spark.

But the beginning of the beginning does not complete the path, because the love that is built and continues, does not live on the rush alone. It is a long project, which requires a renewed choice every day.

To love consciously does not mean that our feelings are brought up, but rather to respect them. To listen to what we need, and realize what we do not want. To understand why this person attracted us specifically, and what we say is more attractive to him than his truth.

To love consciously: respect for feelings and have no denial

Conscious love does not cancel the presence of emotion, but rather it is better to deal with it. To love consciously means that we listen to our needs, we think about what makes us feel safe, and we choose who adds to our value, not who consumes it. It is a love that does not come from a shortage, but rather from an internal fullness that realizes what it deserves.

Modern psychology supports this proposition. He does not deny the existence of feelings, but it indicates that love is a relationship that is nourished or neglected. Daily decisions: How do we differ, how to listen, how we apologize. Love as emotion is the beginning, but love as a decision is what keeps the relationship alive after the eagerness is calmed down.

Emotion alone does not build a relationship

How many relationships started with a strong passion, then it collapsed at the first test; Because feelings, no matter how powerful, are not enough. There must be an understanding, respect, ability to listen and apologize. Here, the difference between the love is based on awareness, and the love that lives on the rush.

Where a study published in the Journal of Personal and Individual Differences in October 2022 showed that emotional intelligence, which includes the ability to recognize, understand and manage emotions, plays a decisive role in enhancing the quality of emotional relationships. Individuals with high emotional intelligence are more able to communicate effectively, solve conflicts in a constructive manner, and sympathy for their partners, which contributes to enhancing contentment and stability in the relationship.

The decision does not lose love its magic .. Rather, it gives it depth

Choosing whoever we love does not make love a rigid or mathematical emotion, but rather gives it internal stability. It is a love full of emotion, but without chaos. Sadiq, but he does not compromise on dignity. Warm, but it does not lose sight of the border.

In conscious love, we do not give our hearts easily. We know when to invest our feelings, and when to protect them. We realize that the love that does not mature is not worth it to remain, and that departure sometimes is an act of love for self, not cruelty to the other.

At a time when relationships change as seasons, love based on choice, awareness and mutual trust remains the most able to continue. Because he is not only betting on a quick feeling, but for two people who chose to be some despite all the fluctuations in life.