New Mom Shares ‘Uncomfortable Truths’ About First 4 Months With Baby – ryan

Expectant mothers may have a rough idea of what sort of parent they will be, but the reality is things are likely to look different when their bundle of joy arrives.

Take Lily Chapman, for example, who has spoken about the highs and lows of her first four months as a mom to baby Ruby, who is now almost 7 months old.

In an exclusive interview with Newsweekthe content creator explained what inspired her to share an honest account of motherhood on TikTok (@lilybchapman), which gathered more than 252,000 views.

“I’ve had a tough time figuring out how to share my transition into motherhood given my public-facing job—it feels like a minefield,” she said. “If you’re honest about the hard parts, people say you’re unprepared or ungrateful. If you only share the highs, people say you’re fake. I shared this because I was tired of overthinking it.

“Motherhood is messy, and I just wanted to be honest about what those first few months really felt like. I needed to hear from other moms who had been through it—and judging by the response, a lot of them felt the same way.”

Challenges of Early Motherhood

In her viral video posted in December, Chapman candidly shares some of the realities she has faced as a new mother.

She begins by saying, “I don’t like breastfeeding” and acknowledges that many describe it as a great way to bond with their baby. However, she sees it more as a necessity than a joyful experience.

She told Newsweek: “Women are constantly pressured to say they enjoy things—even when they don’t—just to make others comfortable. The phrase ‘You catch more flies with honey’ comes to mind.

“People don’t want to hear uncomfortable truths from women. When men challenge norms, they’re called visionaries. When women do it, they’re called difficult.”

Despite never hearing of it before, Chapman began to experience a feeling of aversion in response to her newborn’s suckling, which has been termed dysphoric milk-ejection reflex (D-MER).

“No one I knew talked about the downsides of breastfeeding beyond the surface-level struggles, so when I felt an intense wave of dread every time I nursed, I thought something was seriously wrong with me.

“It wasn’t until I started talking about it that I realized so many women experience the same thing but stay silent because of how we frame motherhood—like you’re supposed to love every single part of it, no matter what.”

Finding Balance With Formula Feeding

Along with breastfeeding, Ruby also drinks some formula. In the clip, Chapman says, “It makes my life easy,” which is helpful when family members babysit.

This leads to her second point—some people are disgruntled when she is out and about without her baby. However, she explains that her separated parents like to see their first and only grandchild at least once or twice per week each. This arrangement gives Chapman time to work out and run errands.

Otherwise, Chapman brings her baby everywhere.

“If you’re inviting me and you know I have a kid, then you should know that my kid is also coming,” she says. “If my baby can’t come, then I probably won’t.”

Sleep Struggles

Sleep deprivation is another major challenge. Chapman initially underestimated sleep training, assuming, “It’s not that deep.” However, the reality hit hard.

During the video, she describes the sound of Ruby crying as “physically painful” and says that she can’t allow her to cry it out. While she initially considered hiring a sleep trainer, she told Newsweek that, in the end, it wasn’t necessary.

“I wanted to fully understand different approaches first and come up with a plan that worked for us and for Ruby,” she said. “I researched different sleep training methods and decided to try a gentle approach first, knowing that if it didn’t work, we’d bring in a professional.

“At the time, we were preparing to temporarily travel for the holidays, and we were desperate for sleep. Ruby took to sleep training surprisingly well, and it wasn’t hard on any of us. Now she sleeps through the night most of the time, and I’ve never been more grateful.”

Hardest Part of Motherhood

For Chapman, the hardest part of motherhood is “trying to be everything, all at once.”

“I’ve dreamed of launching my brand, Elizabeth Bay, since I was 22. When I got pregnant, I put it on hold—briefly. After a traumatic birth, building my business became more than just a career move—it was a way to reclaim my autonomy and ambition,” she explained. “I say it at least once a day: ‘I need 48 hours instead of 24.’

“It’s incredibly difficult to balance being a great mom and a great entrepreneur, especially when every detail of my life is under scrutiny. But at the end of the day, I know I’m raising a daughter who will understand that everything I do is for her—but also that moms are allowed to have dreams too. I need to still be Lily as much as I am Mom.”

Message to Other Moms

“I hope it helps other moms feel seen, validated and a little less alone,” she said.

Her honesty has struck a chord with thousands, and as she continues to navigate motherhood, she’s determined to keep sharing the unfiltered reality of her journey.

One viewer sentiment has stood out: “Breastfeeding was my actual hell,” one user shared.

Another added, “As soon as my baby hit six months, I stopped (breastfeeding). I don’t regret it one bit.”

A third commenter echoed similar feelings, writing, “The sound of my baby crying physically pains me… Felt. I am so glad I’m not the only one. It distresses me so much.”

Summing up the broader conversation, another user commented, “Parenting is different for every person.”

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