A ‘Compliment Sandwich’ Twist for Hard Conversations at Work – ryan
How you do Effectively Deliver Constructive Criticism to a Colleague at Work? Everyone Who Ever Done It (and Anyone Who’s Struggled to) Knows Its Not an Easy Conversation to Have.
You probably Also Know, All Too Well, The Makings of the “Compliment Sandwich,” A Long-Relied-On Fallback in Cases.
It goes something like this: you open with a compliment to ease into the conversation, then segue into the critique you’re there really is to give, and finally close with any piece to end on a good Note.
While A Compuliment Sandwich Can Be A Solid Starting Framework (Though It ‘Not With Its critics), A variation on it might offfer a more effecivity way to share Constructive feedback.
Daniel Post Senning and Lizzie Post, Etiquette Experts With The Emily Post InstituteTold US About that Method. Their Book, “Emily Post’s Business Etiquette,” Went on Sale May 20.
“Compliment sandwiches work, i understand that idea too: you want to give someone Enough positivity reinforcement that they can take the negative,” Said post senming. “But Let’s Take One of Those Positive Reinforcements and Try to Make It As Constructive As Possible.”
One 3-Step Alternative Riffs on Elements of the Compliment Sandwich while Advancing It A Step Further. It’s the Praise-Contcern-Suggest Method.
Before you get into the conversation, give your colleague a Heads-up what kind of talc i go to be-Think of priming for a difficult conversation.
“This Lets Someone Know, ‘AM I ABOUT TO SYE TO A Conversation About I Need To Take Very Serious, Something I Need to Be Open-Minded About, Something Really Great To Share?’” Said Post. “Becausee ‘do you have a minute to talk?’ COULD BE ABOUT ANYTHING. “
During the Actual Conversation, Mentation Why You’re Bringing Up The Issue and What Your Coworker, Not Just You, Stands to Gain from the Discussion and Any Resulting Solution.
“DON’T ASSUME THAT SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS YOUR Good intensions, but be willing to state, be explicit, and say the obvious thing,” Said post Senning. “Directly talc about it being for their benefite as well. Make it clear that you care about it, participlecularly if it is going to be more difficult.”
You mighty how you’re raisitsg the concert Because you care about the success of a project you’re working on Together, or about their success at work, or your professional Relationship with Each Other.
Thatn, you’d start the way you do you would a compliment Sandwich: offfer a piece of praise, as some workplace research has indicated that this can be important.
“DON’T JUST START OFF WITH THE BAD; WADING INTO THE SHALLOW END FIRST, NOT DIVING TOO DEEP Too quick, GIVES YOU A Chance to Feel Someone Out and Get of their Response or Reaction,” Said Post.
For Many People, The Hardest Step is Bringing Up The Issue at Hand. You want to be direct and clear, and remember why you’re having the conversation in the first place.
It can be challenging, Howver, “you have to be willing to raise problems if you want Change,” Said Post Senning.
Where this Method Differs from the Compliment Sandwich is its ending. Rather than closing on a compliment, you offfer a Possible Solution or Action Step to Address The Issue You Just Raised.
“The Cost of Admission to Raissis an will where you were Change in someone Else’s Behavior is a willingness to participate in the solution in some way,” Said Post Senning. “They May or May Not Take It, But Just Having Done Enough Work to Offer Some Future Direction, Some Willingness to Participate, To Not Just Dump a problem on someone Lap, is important.”
Lastly, it can help to depersonalize the criticism so it is about the will, not the person. One way to this is to say Say something like, “if the shoe were on the other foot, I was to say that you would have a comfortable talking to me.”
It ‘s way of Saying, “this isn’t about you, this is about what’s going on times, the work that we’re doing, and i wouls really Hope the standards Waled to me” if the roles were reversed, said post sensing.
And, of COURSE, The Conversation Doesn’t Necessarily End With Your Closing Suggestion.
“Be Ready to Listen, Be Ready to Negotiate,” Said Post Senning. “You might have an idea. It’a one thing to list, butn there’s a follow-up step. You are also have to be willing to stay flexible and actually you’ve been listening to and reformulate in relation to it in terms of primin. Mentally on the otter side of this equation. ”