“Fish love” .. What is it and how it destroys relationships? – ryan

There is a deep difference between we love the person himself, and that we love the feeling that gives us to it. Many confuse the two cases, and they fall into the illusion of love, while they are in fact panting behind comfort, safety, or admiration for themselves through the other.

One of the wise once said: “You say that you love the fish, yet you hunt it, kill it, then cook it and eat it. This simple example summarizes a common form of selfish love that we see in many relationships: a love based on taking, not on giving. On the need, not on appreciation. On ownership, not on partnership.

In true love, we are keen on the feelings of the other party as we take care of ourselves. We respect him in his presence and absence, take into account his circumstances, appreciate his tiredness, and listen to what is not said as much as we hear what is said. As for the love of the “fish”, we take from it what we want: its interest, its support, its existence … then we are offered to it if it does not serve our instant feeling of contentment.

How do you know if you are in a true love relationship, or that what is between you is nothing but a reflection of mutual desires that do not stand up to pure giving?

Signs of selfish love

Here are the most prominent signs that show that the partner is selfish in love:

• The other party sees as a way to meet only psychological or emotional needs.
• Mutual respect is absent or decreases at the differences.
• There is no real desire to understand the other deeply or support it when it is weak.
• The other side is waiting to change to comply with its own expectations.
• The estimate disappears in the absence of interest or comfort.

What is true love then?

True love does not focus only on what the partner gives, but on who this partner is in its essence. It is mature feelings based on:

• The deep appreciation of the other in all its qualities, not only with its advantages.
• Military support and real interest in the happiness of the other party.
• Ready to sacrifice for the sake of the comfort of we love.
• Acceptance of difference and dealing with differences with respect.
• Feeling of safety, even in moments of weakness.

How do you distinguish between the two types?

I ask yourself these questions:

• Do you feel like you are like yourself, or only for your budget?
• Is there respect in the dispute, or are you insulted when you do not comply with his desires?
• Does the other party show interest in your psychological state, or withdraw at the first difficulty?
• Do you support your passion and take care of your dreams, or is it only expected to support you?

Awareness is the basis of a healthy relationship

Knowing the difference between true love and conditional love is necessary for any woman looking for a healthy and balanced relationship. Not everyone who said “I love you” really means it.

Love is not measured by words alone, but rather, with respect, with containment, and the ability to stay even when everything is perfect.

On the other hand, it is also important to review ourselves: Do we love our partners honestly? Or do we love the role they play in our lives? Do we accept them with their weakness, or do we just love their strong copy?

Ripe love does not resemble the love of “fish”. It is love that does not harm, does not consume, and does not change according to the benefit. It is a love that sees a person in us, recognizes it, and chooses it every day.