3 steps to avoid the harm of relatives and restore internal peace – ryan

In the corridors of social media, the stories that tell about a wounds made by hands are not supposed to be closest to us. Relatives, brothers, fathers or children, they appear in our lives, not as a resort, but as a permanent source of lethality, as if we are walking on a bridge of shaking hope that ends only with a new fall.

How can we deal with family members draining our emotional energy, without feeling guilty or remorse?

Diane Solomon, writer Diane Solomon, posed a fundamental question: Can emotional separation from family members in a healthy way? The answer, according to it, is not only “yes”, but “it may be necessary.”

The story often begins with an attempt to prove that we love this person despite everything, so we plan to celebrate an impressive, or offer a valuable gift, or show a great concern for his feelings. But the result is not as we wish. Instead of gratitude, we may receive scathing criticism or intentional ignorance.

This familiar scenario reflects a single -sided dynamic. The problem, as Solomon explains, does not lie in the lack of giving, but rather in high expectations from a person who is already capable of emotional exchange. Here, the first steps of health separation begin: stop exposing the soul to more pain.

3 steps for emotional separation without feeling guilty

Here are the most prominent steps for emotional separation with the harmful relatives, according to the Diana specialist:

Emotional betting

Phrases such as: “Maybe if I do such, will love me finally” are a dangerous trap. A person who has never appeared in appreciation of what she offers will not suddenly wake up to a new awareness. High expectations produce greater disappointments. Reducing the ceiling of expectations is not pessimism, but rather a self -prevention from the repetition of the wound.

I am looking for appreciation elsewhere

Acknowledging your value should not come exclusively from that difficult individual. Look for friends, colleagues or supporters of the supporters. Healthy relationships give you a feeling of safety and appreciation without a heavy charge.

Do not be ashamed of your angry feelings

In our societies, anger of relatives is seen as betrayal. But anger, if it is better to understand, may be a gateway to healing. It is okay to feel dissolved, or even a desire to get away. There is also nothing wrong if you are forgiven, but for the sake of comfort, not to satisfy those who do not appreciate you.

Between contact and cutting

After these steps, it may be decided that the relationship will remain within the limits of an annual greeting message, or an official meeting on family occasions only. You may find that the complete break is the most appropriate option. But you may also realize that you have become more balanced, and able to communicate with this person without waiting for anything, only because you want to attend a certain occasion or meet your other loved ones.

The important thing here is that your relationship with yourself is first. To realize that you deserve unconditional love, acceptance without a continuous test. Emotional separation does not mean cruelty, but rather to preserve your dignity and psychological health.

Many go through what you are going through. You are not alone in this confusing path. Find the relationships that give you reassurance, and resolve those that make you doubt yourself; Because internal peace does not come from “who is forced to love”, but rather from “who we choose to love them with reassurance.”