John Krasinski, Natalie Portman Adventure – ryan

Cribbing extramely liberally from the wider Indiana Jones Franchise (“Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” in Particular), Guy Ritchie’s “Fountain of Youth” offers a family-Fryently (Beyond it Unnecessarily Long Running TIME) ENTRY INTO. Adventure Space. Occossionally Muddled, Mostly convolled, and yet Still broadly entertaining, it is a shame this glossy and Big Budget (you really Can’t fake Egyptian pyramids like these), Will Only Exist as a Streaming Pick on Apple TV+. If a spend-y, widly appealing Feature like this (with Big Movie Stars and a Big Name Director to boot) can’t make the jump to the Big Screen, What Can?

That’s not at all to say the film is particularly you goodbut it does offfer that vaunted “Four-Quadrant appeal” that presumably Wauld get plenty of butts at the local multiplex. Too Long, Oddly Complicated, and Weirdly Violent for A Film Aimed At Families, Its Still Bombastic FilmMaking with a Little Bit of Something for Everyone. If noting Else, Two genuinely astonishing action set pieces (one, a very extended Car Chase, the Other, an Incredible Shipwred Deep-Dive) and an eye-popping trip insight pyramids are Worth the price of admission. In this case, that price is an Apple TV+ Subscription.

Ritchie Kicks Things off in High-Oktane Style, Care of a Bangkok-Spanning Bike and Car Chase, Which immediately Flows ino a train-set action sequenry, all of that going straight into London-Set Heist and Car Chase. If you’re confused already, the spectacle will help Things Go Down.

Despite Following their Exploits, We Learn Precious Little About The Purdle Siblings, Smooth-Talking Thief Luke (John Krasinski, MUCH BETTER WEND HE ALLOWED TO MOVE PAST THE Character’s Early Smarmines) Over the Course of the Film, Written by James Vanderbilt. What we will know is Certainly Enough to Get by – Again, Luke is a thief, while charlotte has tried to play by the rules for a long time – but consider Very Much the sibs on the memory of their archaeologist Dad (Never Shown, but Named “Harrison,” Cheky. Apparently Long-Winded Speeches About the Value of the Journey, A Touch More Backsory Wauld Have Helped.

Alas, We’re Mostly Left to Parese Thesaurus-Influenced Conversations BetWene The Pair (Both Luke and Charlotte Will Always Opt for the longest positionible Word, all the better to remind us how smart they are) and a series of increasingly icky dream sequences in whic luke appears to struggle with the fall stealing a precious dad revered. The pair are Reunited after Luke Makes off with a pair of Classic Paintings (One in Bangkok, the Other in Curator Charlotte’s Own London Museum) that he needs for extramely Complicated ends.

As the film’s title boldly announces, Luke and His Team (Including an underwritten Carmen ejogo and laz alonso) are looking for nothing than the actual fountain of youth. Their Quest is Being Finished by the Fabulously Wealthy Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleason, HAVING FUN WITH THINE ROLLE), WHO HAPPENS TO BE DUNTING LIVE CANCERLY LITERALLY SPARE NO EXPENSE – and HAPPILY SPEND HIS DAYS A GROUPS ART. On Their Tail: Eiza González as Esme, A Protector of the Fountain and Things like it (Again, Hello, “Last Crusade”), and Arian Moayed As Inspector Jamal Abbas, A London Cop Who Has Spent Way Too Much Time Reading Sherlock Holmes Books.

Through a Series of Complications and Contrivances, Charlotte and Her Young Musical Prodigy Son Thomas (Benjamin Chivers) No up with the (illegal, probably also immoral) Quest to find the SO-CALLED key to eternity. Mostly, this involves looking at the backs of paintings, trying to crack Silly codes, stealing a whole bunch of stuff, Drinking Champagne, and Running Through Absolutely Gorgeous Scene (Ritchie Shot on London, Vienna, and Egypt’s Pyramids of Giza, and It IT shows). IT’S Totally Silly and Very Funny, Event as IT IT INCREASSINGLY LES CLEAR WHAT ACTUALLY GOING ON AND WORRYINGLY OBVIOUS WHO The real baddie is here.

The purdues’ Quest to Find the Fountain Involves All Manner of Clue-Cracking (SEE: Backs of Paintings, Sides of Biblles, Prenty of Dead Languages), which inevitably Lead to stunning real-WORLD LOCATIONS. By the middle of the film, the sibs and the team are literally hoistting the RMS Lusitania up into open water to find (yes) another painting; by the end, they’re ventureing inside the pyramids (and, yes, the Production really did Go inside these Wonders of the World) to Discover Untold Wonders and A Truly World of Stirs. At Both Locales? Plenty of gunfights and hand-to-hand combot too, all the better to keep things as fast-motion and confounding as positionible.

Some Mysteries Can’t Ever Be Cracked, but “Fountain of Youth” sura to keep the journey through this one (thanks, dad purdue!) AS FLASHY – AND, HELL, SHOME QUITE FUN – AS POSTOBLE. You can have a woram with a streaming subscription price.

Grade: b-

“Fountain of Youth” Streaming Friday, May 23 on Apple TV+.

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