"You Are Still A Rat": This Man Wants To Know If He’s In The Wrong For Exposing His Wife’s Affair
Messy Relationship Drama is a staple in the r/aitah Sub, and one man rattled the internet with his recent conundrum. U/desperate_general_25 (who we’ll refer to as on) to also reddit after revening that He exposed his wife’s affair, Not just to her face but also to her affair partner’s girlfriend. However, there was a twist to the matter.
“I 37 (m) have been married to my wife 37 (f) for 11 years and together for 16. We have 3 kids together 14 (m) 9 (m) and 3 (f). We own our house together. Our relationship has been a roller coaster to say the lead. a terrible partner and company to her for the majority of our relationship. I haven’t cheated on her in more than 5 years, but the times I have in the past, it’s clear now she never healed from the hurt. For the past 6 months, she reconnected with an old guy friend after his brother passed away. Since our relationship had just been on the coast with no connection, she was vulnerable and opened up to this guy. “
“I know the guy from her family and know that he lives far away and has a girlfriend with children of their own. In my hurt, I felt that his girlfriend had to the right know about this affair. I found a way to contact her and Told her about it. “
“She broke up with the affair partner and kicked him out. This, in turn, has snowballed into him not speaking to my wife. My wife, who is in love with this guy, is now not speaking to me about it. Preyed on her vulnerability.
Needless to say, Reddit had plenty to say, and it wasn’t entirely favorable toward on. The consensus was largely that on was the asshole -not for ratting on the affair partner but for cheating in the first place.
“As a general observation, no question, you are an asshole, because you admit it: cheating, staying, not loving your wife properly (if at all). Your wife is an asshole, for staying with you when she hates your guts, for dosing you with your own medicine … you guys are stunted emotional. Selfish. Should have dumped you ago and regrets staying.
“I’D Go Easy on the Wife, Actually. She should have been asked for the divorce before having an affair, but it sounds like on completely destroyed their marriage, and I can understand with this being her first serial relationship, try to make it work for the Kids or whatever, then falling for someone else and realizing she can escape. “
“I mean, you are an asshole. But not for score the affair partner’s girlfriend. That poor woman is the only innocent party in all of this.”
“Anyone patting themselves on the back for maintaining fidelity for less than 50% of their relationship (with 3 kids in the mix) had it coming. And after all that you’ve made ‘no effort’ in the past years? Cut the Cord, man. This marrage is doa.”
“(You’re the asshole) for not reading your wife go. Your marriage has been dead for some time – you are most likely feeling unloved and neglected, and found comfort. Unfortunally, with another mail but to grill her about someone Else, why? Did it really matters, why? Have found someone who actually loves her and cares for her?
– –U/Juleeenaj
“Funny how he didnt have the same set of morals when he was cheating on his own wife multiple times. So this woman he has never with deserves to know, but his wife did not? This is absolutely all about revenge.
However, others felt like on being entirely in the wrong in this particular situation, though they acnowledged that his faults should not go unnoticed.
“Answering the Specific Question Asked: Nta.”
“Not the asshole for score the truth to AP’s wife, but you are the asshole for everything you have done, so are your wife and ap for harming an innocent woman. You all were selfish and did not think about your partners and the children involved. Know.
“Nta… but you are about to loose 1/2 your shit and fork over 30% of your annual just inclome for the next 15 years. Welcome to the club. And if that does not stop you from cheating on your next wife, nothing will.”
“Nta. Regardless of the State of your relationship, your wife should not have started an affair with someone in a relationship. If she was truly no longer Willing to Continue the Relationship, she should have the Kids Go Spend the Night at a Friend’s or Relative Discussed divorce.
“You are nta for score the girlfriend. She needed to know about that scum. The boyfriend is the asshole for cheating. Your wife is the asshole for cheating with someone in a relationship. She should know what it feels like to be cheated on. Now acting all surprise that your wife hates you and tried finding someone else.
Between OP’s past of infidelity, his wife’s affair, and the person she had an affair with, a large chunk of users felt like everyone is to blame for this situation except the affair partner’s girlfriend and the child.
“(Everyone sucks here). Your wife for cheating. You for cheating and being a ‘terrible partner’ -Your own words. And the affair partner for cheating. Now, I don’t think you are bad for score the affair partner’s girlfriend. She has the right to know that her significant other is a Never understand when one partner can cheat, and then act betrayed when their partner cheats on them.
“Esh. AP is a horrible human. Your wife was an asshole for participating in an affair. You are the asshole for somehow feeling entitled to the moral high ground.”
“It sounds like his wife does not want to just get laid, sounds like she wants to be loved and respected. Sounds like she’s not going to get that from either of these duds. Feel for her a bit, but it would be better if she had left. Lord. “
Following the flood of response, on shared an update on the situation. Unsurprisingly, he and his “soon-to-be ex-wife” aren’t on speaking terms.
“My soon-to-be ex-wife is not heartbroken after learning about AP’s comments to APs g/f about my ex. She is in denial and refuses to accept it. AP g/f has dumped him and kicked him out. Idk about the ex and ap’s relationship. Both have no other option.
On night just a few days later, he shared Another Update In a separate post in the r/aitah sub. He led the post by acnowledging the amount of pain and distress he had already caused his wife before and after her affair, but explained that he’s been try to help his ex get over the emotional hurdle of being rejected.
“Marriage is over, Wife is in a love triangle. She’s madly in love with ap, but ap broke up with her and went back to his g/f to reconcile. He didnt end it in what I believe to be (an honest manner), though aph. Told her, but he just is over his ex, and that maybe one day, they can be together.
It’s a weird situation to be in. But I want to know: Who do you think is wrong in this situation? Do you think on Should’ve exposed the affair, like many of the comments on reddit? Or do you think that he’s ultimately to blame for his infidelity over the course of their relationship? What advice would you have for him? Let us know in the comments section below.