Words by Elise SolÃ©.
A mother whose four children pique public fascination took a Facebook photo that exudes the â€œrealnessâ€ of family life.
Jazmyne Futrell, 31, a mother in California recently posted an image to her Facebook page Mixed Mom Brown Babies.
In the image, sheâ€™s cooking chicken noodle soup at the stove wearing her seven-month-old baby Koehn, who is breastfeeding.
Karson, her seven-year-old son, is tugging on her shirt and showing her a page of his homework, while her five-year-old daughter Kinley and three-year-old son Karter, enjoy screen time at her feet.
She wrote under the photo taken by her husband, â€œFriends with no kids: â€˜You go to bed at 9pm? Girl I canâ€™t fall asleep before 11pm.â€™
â€œMom [sic] friends: â€˜you go to bed at 9 [pm]? Girl I canâ€™t seem to stay up past 8:30.â€™
â€œWith four kids Iâ€™m way too exhausted to even think about having a life after dark and way too busy to go to bed at a decent hour.â€Â
â€œThereâ€™s so much to say about this photo,â€ the blogger tells Yahoo. â€œIÂ shouldnâ€™t be cooking while holding my baby, my son has a ponytail because I didnâ€™t have time to braid his hair, and my kids are on the floor. Thatâ€™s why I posted it â€” thereâ€™s not enough realness on social media.â€
Futrell took an interest in blogging after Koehn was born.
â€œI had postpartum depression and all the other mums looked amazing on social media,â€ she continues. â€œMany times I thought, â€˜Can I do this?â€™ I hope showing photos like this lets mothers know theyâ€™re not fighting their battles alone.â€
People said Futrell was a â€œrock starâ€ and a â€œwarrior,â€ except for those concerned for her apparent lack of help. â€œMaybe sheâ€™s a single mom [sic],â€ a commenter wrongly assumed.Â
When Futrell goes shopping with her children, people arenâ€™t shy to make assumptions.
â€œA woman asked me, â€˜How old you?â€™ and was relieved to learn I was older than expected,â€ she says. â€œWhile in labor with Koehn, the nurse asked my husband if he was a father to my unborn child or all [of] my kids because she [said there are] â€˜a lot of single moms [sic].’â€
Meanwhile, Futrell says her husband is doted onÂ in comparison.
â€œOnce at a store, my husband took the kids to another section so I could try on clothes,â€ she said. â€œA woman told me, â€˜I just want to compliment you for your awesome husband. Heâ€™s â€˜babysittingâ€™ so you can shop.’â€
â€œHe wasnâ€™t babysitting his own children â€” heâ€™s required by law to care for them,â€ says Futrell. â€œThe bar is set so low for fathers.â€
Futrell says social expectations for families makes her village stand out. â€œI used to make excuses for peopleâ€™s comments,â€ she says. â€œNot anymore.â€