THE ‘Captain of the Titanic Shouldn’t We Have Seen That Coming a Mile Off?’ Award goes to … Rihanna and Chris Brown.
Way back in January, Insider revealed that the pair were already embroiled in a somewhat feisty relationship when he came to Liverpool for an after-show PA on Hardman Street.
Our source reported that Rihanna was less than delighted when Chris asked a few surprise guests to join the couple on the tour bus ride along the M62 where Chris had been performing at the MEN Arena.
“It was supposed to just be Chris and Rihanna on the bus, but he brought three girls from Manchester with him as well and Rihanna looked like she was fuming,” observed Insider’s backstage spy.
By February a photo of a bruised and battered Rihanna was leaked online, and in June her then ex pleaded guilty to assault.
The Good Girl Gone Bad has now very much done good – and dumped him.
* The ‘Bear Grylls Outstanding Ability To Adapt To New And Strange Climates’ Award goes to … Michela Quattrociocche and Henry Winkler.
The Italian actress girlfriend of Reds new boy Alberto Aquilani has fitted in to Scouse WAG routine like a duck to Chanel.
The couple only arrived in the city in the summer when Alberto signed from Roma, but already the gorgeous brunette is a paparazzi favourite thanks to her outstanding capacity for shopping.
For those who wish to catch a glimpse of Michela, which was until recently far more likely than seeing her other half on the pitch, she has been spotted regularly in the Metquarter and around the WAGs’ natural habitat of Mathew Street.
Sharing the award with her is panto favourite Henry Winkler, who has been making himself right at home while starring as Captain Hook at the Empire.
The Fonz has been spotted out and about everywhere from Zara, to Links of London, Lacoste, Boots and Sainsbury’s.
He was even said to be spotted buying tile grout in Rapid … although Insider has its doubts.
* The ‘Rosemary Conley We Feel A Fitness DVD Coming On’ Award goes to … super-WAG Alex Curran.
She’s had her snipers in the past but, two kids and some slightly ropey bikini pictures later, and she’s never looked better.
With the aid of a personal trainer and home gym in Formby, a no longer carb-cursed Alex is now working a toned pair of legs to die for.
Insider reckons Stevie’s got some serious competition for the best thighs Chez Gerrard.
PS: This award was actually closely fought between Alex and her WAG chum Coleen, but we’re pretty sure there’ll be a post-pregnancy Rooney DVD on the shelves in 2010 – and anyway she cheated by losing 8lbs in one big push.
* The ‘Mr Benn Master of Disguise’ Award goes to … Bob Dylan.
The music legend managed to hop on a tourist bus in Liverpool and take a pilgrimage to John Lennon’s boyhood home entirely unnoticed thanks to the transforming powers of a woolly hat.
Having coughed up £16 to join a party of fellow fans Dylan spent ages, according to a National Trust source, going through photo albums and other memorabilia at Aunt Mimi’s house on Menlove Avenue.
The singer, who was in Liverpool on the UK leg of his world tour, went unrecognised although he did reportedly comment to one tourist that the unheated bedroom reminded him of his old house in Minnesota.
* The ‘You Know When You’ve Been Tangoed’ Award goes to … Ricky Whittle and Carley Stenson.
The Hollyoaks sweethearts, who had been dating for two years, split while Ricky was busy whipping out his pecs on Strictly Come Dancing.
Rumour had it that Carley wasn’t too thrilled by just how close her bloke had got to his newest co-star, Aussie dance partner Natalie Lowe.
Ricky was having none of it, insisting there was no rumba romance and describing lovely Carley as his soulmate.
We believed Ricky, of course, despite him being spotted enjoying a cosy family dinner at the Living Room with Natalie and her parents just three days after the split was announced.
Now, after failing to win the competition despite being favourites, there’s hot gossip that he and Carley could be an item again. Insider’s hopes for 2010 are dizzyingly high.
* The ‘Gabrielle (remember her with the eyepatch?) Dreams Can Come True’ Award goes to … Abbey Clancy.
Insider’s favourite WAG has reportedly landed her top wish-list assignment as a model for Sports Illustrated’s legendary swimsuit issue next year.
The Holy Grail for all models, it’s been a long-held ambition for our Abbey who only this autumn cited that and Victoria’s Secret as her ideal jobs. Although at the time she did joke “I’ll need a face lift or a face transplant first!”