The just because
You’ve been dating for four years. You wake up overjoyed that this walking sunbeam has deigned to share so much of their life with you, just like you did yesterday. But that quotidian bliss is easy to overlook. ‘Sweet pink avalanche roses always perform,’ says Hawkings. ‘There’s no one I love who I wouldn’t send them to.’ Order them a bunch that says you make my day, every day.
The in the doghouse
You forgot your anniversary. Go straight to the florist. ‘It’s a bunch of fiery pink carnations in a shade of pink so mood-boosting I defy her not to forgive you,’ says Hawkings. Unless (s)he has allergies.
The secret admirer
Someone’s got a secret admirer! Please let it be Jason from accounts. Please don’t let it be Barry from your pottery class. ‘We get a lot of people asking who the flowers are from, but we don’t tell,’ says Hawkings. ‘The spectacular mystery parrot tulip with its feather-like, rich purple petals speaks of intrigue and passion.’ Come on Barry. You’re married. You have children. I’m half your age. You really shouldn’t be sending me flowers.
The office romance
Jason from accounts is a demi-god — but he also signs off your expenses and might take your advances the wrong way. ‘Hot tickle astilbe is a master of subterfuge,’ says Hawkings. ‘It’s flirty but easily passed off as a “thanks for being such a great colleague” bunch.’
The one-night stand
Phwoar. About last night. Birds were singing. Bees were buzzing. Then after that wildlife documentary finished, you knocked my socks off. If you’d like to convey your gratitude for the best Netflix and chill of your year, ‘Chantilly lace dendrobium orchid is the one here,’ says Hawkings. ‘They’re sexy, they’re beautiful, they leave a little to the imagination, and they’re not the kind of traditional flower your parents would want you to be turning up at the house with.’
You remembered your anniversary. Advance to Go. Collect £200. Spend this on a nice bottle of wine and a bouquet of memory lane roses.
The first date
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. He’s worn the wrong sweater (the maroon one that makes him look tubby) and he’s made spaghetti. She’s gluten-intolerant. Never fear! The perfect bouquet will save the day.
‘Lipstick red anemones are the perfect first date flower, no question,’ says Hawkings. ‘It’s a bloom that is closed at the beginning, and opens up into a showstopper, getting bolder the longer it keeps.’ Love is in the air. Or is it hay fever?
It turns out Pottery Class Barry set a fire under your kiln. You want to keep your forbidden love smouldering. The tart double tulip is your floral weapon of choice.
Nothing is forever, you remind yourself, revving up your ‘Heartbroken’ playlist on shuffle. But you’re an adult, and ghosting is for teenagers. ‘Pale canary stock is good because it is quite subdued in colour, inexpensive but still compassionate,’ says Hawkings.
All flowers from £30 a bunch (flowerbx.com)