Not long ago PC meant politically correct and right-wing pundits raved about the ‘PC brigade’ and how everything was ‘political correctness gone mad’. Now, in these post-Brexit, post-Trump days, PC means populist correct.
What’s that, you might ask? Well, anything that sounds like it’s ‘elitist’ or could be labelled ‘undemocratic’ or ‘unpatriotic’. Do your opinions clash with the Brexit reality? Express them and you’ll be labelled a ‘remoaner’ or worse, a ‘snowflake’. It’s such a brilliant piece of dissent-stifling sophistry that even the metropolitan elite can start to buy into it.
Take the quiz to find out how populist correct you are…
1. The High Court, Supreme Court and the House of Lords are:
A: A vital buttress against the abuse of power by the government of the day.
B: Undoubtedly elite, out-of-touch and faintly absurd in their fancy dress, but they get things right as often as they get things wrong.
C: Quite literally wiping their bottoms on the democratic will of the masses.
2. Immigration is:
A: Vital to a multicultural city like London. What’s going to happen to my Spanish reflexologist and Portuguese cleaner, for goodness sake?
B: A benefit to the economy, but also a legitimate concern of the native population in areas left behind.
C: Closed now. Isn’t that what we voted for?
3. Paul Nuttall is:
A: The Fisher Price Oswald Mosley.
B: Better looking than Nigel Farage, at least.
C: The victim of a ‘co-ordinated, cruel and almost evil smear campaign’ as all the lying mainstream media, er, reported him as saying.
4. What is most likely to upset your delicate mental state?
A: The prospect of endless passport queues eating into a weekend jaunt to Naples.
B: The issue of whether it infringes on a gay couple’s rights if a Christian baker refuses to bake them a wedding cake, or whether it infringes on a Christian baker’s rights if he is forced to.
C: The whole transgender thing, especially the bathroom issue. Or a straight banana, one or the other.
5. That whole ‘We’ll give £350m to the NHS’ written-on-the-side-of-a-bus thing was:
A: A scandal.
B: A long time ago.
C: A legitimate tactic in a bitter political fight in the post-fact era.
6. Climate change is:
A: Affecting the ski slopes in Europe now!
B: A matter of debate.
C: LA LA LA LA LA CAN’T HEAR YOU!
7. When workers at Iceland were told not to share images of ‘robbing toerags’ because it infringed on their privacy under the data protection act, your reaction was:
A: What’s a toerag?
B: Why does British law affect what happens
C: I’ll tell you what it is, it’s political correctness gone mad!
8. In discussion, you are most likely to compare Donald Trump to:
A: Hitler, or if I’m feeling particularly clever, Louis XIV the Sun King.
B: Henry VIII, but I’m waiting for him to marry three more wives, or for a meme of him gnawing a chicken leg to appear.
C: Ronald Reagan. He, too, was wilfully misunderstood by the elite but not by the American people (*salutes imaginary flag*).
9. When in a mixed social gathering of people you don’t know well, the book, film and musician you will admit to liking are:
A: Yuval Noah Harari’s Homo Deus, Moonlight and Stormzy.
B: Joanna Trollope’s City of Friends, The Lego Batman Movie and Adele.
C: The New John Grisham — whatever it’s called — Fifty Shades Darker and Little Mix.
10. Lactose and/or gluten intolerance is:
A: A very real thing that can seriously impair one’s enjoyment of life, actually.
B: A classic example of #middleclassproblems and a sign that relative wealth and the endurance of the post-war liberal consensus have made us morally flabby and moribund; perhaps we really NEEDED a shake-up.
C: Oh just shut up and have a bloody bacon sandwich and a frothy coffee, why don’t you?!
HOW DID YOU SCORE?
You are a metropolitan elitist and you might like to consider investing in a bunker.
You are a bit confused, and trying to have your Hardihood raw cheesecake but also eat your Mr Kipling fondant fancy, as it were.
You’re a populist warrior, armed for battle but dangerously thin-skinned. You know what the people want, but can you understand a different point of view.