I wanted to start this article by addressing that this article will be more geared to women, sorry guys… I chose to write this article for women well, mainly because I am one. I want to discuss lies that I have believed in myself. I got the idea to write this article from a book I recently read, Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis. It was an inspirational book that made me realize all the lies I had been believing in myself without even being aware of it. These are lies that I found to be true about me, that might also pertain to some of you.
The first lie… other people’s opinions determine my worth. I have always been such a people-pleaser, constantly worrying about what others would think of how I looked or did something. The book had a quote that gave me so much perspective on this habit. Hollis stated, “Other people’s opinions are none of your business.” This means Sally Sue, the girl that seems to be perfect, her opinion is none of my business. Does she like me? None of my business. Does she hate me? None of my business. Does she like my outfit today? NONE OF MY BUSINESS. However, this also applies to my loved ones. Yes, they want the best for me, but they are not the ones in the ring fighting for me, I am the only one fighting for a better life and better version of myself. I ultimately get to decide the person I am today and the person I want to become and no one else’s opinions of that gets to determine that for me. Having this mindset has given me so much freedom. I’ve learned to no longer worry myself over what others will think, but to do things that make me happy and get me closer to the person that I want to become.
The second lie… my worth is determined by the way I look. I feel so ashamed to admit that I thought this had to be the most important thing about me because it’s so shallow. At one point I felt so ugly. I didn’t want to go out, I didn’t want to put on makeup and it overtook me. All I could think about was how others perceived me. What were they seeing? Did they think I was pretty? Again, none of my business. I spent so much time and energy trying to make myself feel pretty, but ultimately I didn’t feel any better. Then I read an article on Facebook by Amy Weatherly, that discussed exactly what I was going through. In her article she discussed her struggle with making herself pretty and the hardships she went through because of it. Reading her battle with it gave me hope; it made me realize how silly I was being. Of course I wasn’t going to feel pretty 100 percent of the time, but that’s okay because every one doesn’t feel pretty all the time. Feeling good about myself is one thing, but I took it to another level. Being pretty isn’t going to be the most interesting thing about me and if it is then I need to reevaluate the person I am trying to become. She had her article numbered out and in point four it had a really powerful message. Weatherly states, “Nobody is going to stand up at the front of the church at your funeral and talk about your looks…. And if it doesn’t matter during your death, it probably shouldn’t matter too terribly much during your life.” That’s when it finally clicked: my looks are never going to be more important than kindness or integrity. As I stated before, I am the only one who gets to decide the person I am right now and the person I want to become.
The third lie… wearing too much makeup is not okay. I am obsessed with makeup, like to the point I have a platinum membership at Ulta, which means I’ve spent $500.00 just this year on makeup. I either go all in with makeup or nothing at all; there is no in between. I am in love with the beautiful long falsies, the perfectly chiseled cheeks, and poppin’ highlight. However, I started to notice the people around me weren’t going all out with their makeup and I began to feel self-conscious. I couldn’t help, but think everyone was judging me by how much makeup I wore. When in reality I was constantly getting comments about how good my makeup looked and how pretty I was, but I couldn’t help but feel like it was all a lie because on the inside I was insecure. At the beginning of this year my New Year’s Resolution was to not be my own worst enemy. As part of my initiative I made a choice, I wasn’t going to care what others thought about the amount of makeup on my face. I do my makeup for me and only me. God gave me the love and talent of doing makeup in order to use it to make not only myself feel beautiful, but others who allowed me to do their makeup. I refused to let me squander my own God-given talent or anyone else for that matter. So, I put on the false eyelashes and make perfectly chiseled cheeks and that’s okay because I am authentically being myself. I had to come to the realization that I don’t have to do my makeup like everyone else’s; I can do it exactly how I want to without worrying what others would think about it. Makeup allows me to be a creator and not all paintings are the same, so why should makeup have to be? I mean how boring would that be?
All these lies used to have a grip on me and it was only because I let them. My piece of of advice is don’t allow yourself to believe these lies. I have found freedom from not allowing these lies to get in my way from the person I am trying to become. Now I want you to ask you what lies are holding you back? Remember you ultimately get to decide the person you are and the person you will become, don’t let anyone else or a lie try to define you for you.
P.S. If you have the James Charles palette can I give it a little swatch test? (Hey I already told all of you I was obsessed.)